WASHINGTON, DC – Marking World AIDS Day in the Nation’s Capital, a reception will be held at the Wilson Building honoring HIV/AIDS trial participants in the DC Metropolitan Area. This event is sponsored by the Capital Area Vaccine Effort (CAVE), Family Connections, Georgetown University Medical Center Clinical Trials Unit, NIH Vaccine Research Center, US Military HIV Research Program, and the Washington VA Medical Center.

Capital Area Vaccine Effort (CAVE) member Zenovia Wright comments: “HIV/AIDS trial participants play an integral role in not only the discovery of new treatments for those living with HIV/AIDS, but also in the search for a vaccine or microbicide to prevent the spread of the virus.”

Hundreds of DC residents are currently participating in HIV/AIDS clinical trials across the city, but new volunteers are always needed. HIV Negative volunteers may be eligible to participate in trials investigating new prevention approaches including vaccines and microbicides. HIV positive volunteers may be eligible for trials investigating new medications or treatment strategies.

Information about current volunteer opportunities will be available at the reception. All interested DC residents are invited to participate in this event, which begins at 6:45 PM in the main hearing room of the Wilson Building (1350 Pennsylvania Ave NW). Those interested can RSVP online at www.aidsvaccine.org.

Wright continues: “For their time and invaluable contribution to humanity we thank them and hope to meet many more like them in the near future.”
Capitol Area Vaccine Effort is a volunteer panel of individuals from the general public and from the diverse communities affected by AIDS. CAVE is organized to assist and advise HIV Vaccine Research in the DC area. CAVE serves as the Community Advisory Board to the NIH Vaccine Research Center HIV Clinical Trials.

For more information about CAVE, visit: www.aidsvaccine.org

For more information on HIV preventive vaccine research, visit www.bethegeneration.org

By Wayne Besen: It is time the gay movement took the religious right's advice and created a gay agenda. The new Democratic Congress is about to triumphantly take the reins, offering a unique opportunity to pass legislation, but we must tread carefully to avoid repeating past mistakes.

In 1993, President Bill Clinton waltzed into Washington and advocated allowing openly gay patriots to serve in the military. While this was commendable, he moved too fast, too soon and the resulting brouhaha damaged his presidency and saddled the gay community with today's Don't Ask/Don't Tell fiasco.

One lesson from the past is that if gay issues are haphazardly introduced they can be radioactive and sidetrack the Democratic Party's broader agenda. If the Democrats are seen as kowtowing to a controversial special interest group the moment they are in the majority it may jeopardize their ability to reach mainstream Americans.

On the other side of the coin, the gay community has been a loyal constituency group and our basic rights should be protected as a matter of morality. The way to reconcile this ostensible conflict is for major gay political organizations to have an early strategic powwow with incoming House speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

The gay leaders should offer to step back and make no demands for six months to let the Democrats establish a tangible record on bread and butter economic issues. The party must establish itself as one that represents all people and cares most about the concerns of average families.Once party leaders have built a reserve of political capital and are able to boast of bipartisan accomplishments they will have earned credentials with suburban families and can address gay rights without looking like they are pandering.

Democratic leaders should agree that for the GLBT community's six months of silence a major piece of legislation would be introduced in June. The most logical legislation would be the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would prohibit job discrimination based on sexual orientation. However, I think we should scrap ENDA in its current antiquated form and return to a broader bill that also bans discrimination in housing, credit and accommodations.

ENDA made more sense when there were several influential members of Congress who were opposed to employment discrimination, but balked at losing the ability to discriminate in housing. But the world has evolved and I suspect there are few members of Congress who now advocate situational discrimination. So, why not go for a more robust bill if there are enough votes to win?

It is crucial that GLBT leaders get a commitment from Pelosi and Reid to energetically push a gay rights bill or ENDA in its current incarnation. Polls show that most Americans are overwhelmingly against discrimination, so it is a winning issue as long as the Democrats hold firm. If they appear weak and embarrassed to support equality it will be a disaster. The GLBT community will feel betrayed and lose faith in the Party, while the Democrats will play to stereotypes that they have no core beliefs or principles.

Once a non-discrimination bill is passed there is a good chance that President George W. Bush will veto it. There is not much we can do about this, except use it as a political rallying cry to get more Democrats elected to office. The Republicans may try to use this bill as a political weapon, but I think it will backfire. In a recent column I predicted that the New Jersey Supreme Court's ruling mandating civil unions would have little affect on the Midterm elections. I correctly reasoned that the discussion on marriage had moved the bar to where civil unions are now boring and no longer political poison. The same argument can be made for an ENDA-type bill, with marriage rendering it quaint and uncontroversial.

After this bill is passed, we should take our lobbyists off of Capital Hill for another six months and do nothing else until 2008. In this presidential election year, we should introduce hate crimes legislation, which has the least potential to create a backlash, since even our opponents profess that gay bashing is wrong.

Unfortunately, I left off my short list overturning the ban on gays in the military. I think we should steer clear of this issue until after the presidential elections. This topic is too prone to demagoguery with conservatives, once again, descending into submarine barracks. If a Democrat wins the presidency and the party holds both branches of Congress, this would be a good issue for 2009.

Conservatives are right - we need a gay agenda. If our groups strategically and systematically work with Pelosi and Reid we can eat our victory cake and they can still win reelection in a cakewalk.

Visit Wayne Besen's website: Wayne Besen

Please help WE BELONG to win the Seeds of Tolerance video competition on Current TV.

We Belong is a short documentary video about a rural teen who has the courage to stand up to bigotry and intolerance in his school – and the determination to tell his story to the world.

Start by clicking on the picture above to go to the competition website, then register to vote by 1) Clicking register to Vote. 2) Clicking the circle "No, I want to register with Current TV". 3) Typing your email address, a Username, and a Password. 4) Clicking "I agree to the site terms and privacy policy". 5) Clicking "Register with Current TV". Then Watch and Vote for 'We Belong'!. To visit the official WE BELONG website and get started, click here.

The National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) has released a resource designed to help communities respond effectively in the aftermath of hate crimes against transgender people. "Responding to Hate Crimes: A Community Resource Manual" will be widely distributed to local advocates organizing Transgender Day of Remembrance vigils around the country later this month. The Day of Remembrance is annually observed on or around November 20. NCTE"s "Responding to Hate Crimes" manual represents a holistic, community-based approach to responding to hate violence in a way that aims to curb the number of attacks faced by transgender people.

"The Transgender Day of Remembrance is a solemn time to reflect on those who have been murdered because of their gender identity or expression," said Mara Keisling, NCTE Executive Director. "The National Center for Transgender Equality and our allies have made great strides advocating for federal Hate Crimes legislation to explicitly include crimes based on "gender identity and expression""the language that covers transgender individuals, but we will need to continue educating policymakers about the rampant violence targeted at our communities."

Studies estimate the murder rate of transgender persons as high as 16 times the national average. Approximately one murder is reported each month in the U.S.; however, experts believe hate crimes against transgender individuals are significantly under-reported because of pervasive doubts that authorities will treat victims with respect or fairly investigate the crimes. Despite the frequency of hate violence against transgender people, the FBI does not track or keep statistics on attacks that target transgender individuals.

Recognizing the level of violence facing transgender communities, ten states explicitly cover transgender people in their hate crimes laws with "gender identity or expression" language (California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maryland, New Mexico, Minnesota, Missouri, Pennsylvania, and Vermont). While no transgender-inclusive federal law has been enacted, in 2005 the National Center for Transgender Equality was instrumental in passing an inclusive federal hate crimes bill through the U.S. House of Representatives"the first time a transgender-inclusive bill was passed in either chamber of Congress.
The causes of transphobic violence are often more complex than discrimination based on gender identity or expression alone. Employment discrimination, high unemployment rates, and economic and social marginalization put transgender people in higher risk situations for violence. Race also plays a significant role in who is targeted in attacks, with young transgender women of color the most frequently victimized.

"The news is all too familiar to our community"a transgender person violently attacked because of another person"s hatred or fear," said Justin Tanis, NCTE"s Program Manager and a principle editor of the manual.

"Hate crimes have a devastating impact on victims and survivors as well as on the larger transgender community," said Richard Juang, co-editor of the new book Transgender Rights and co-chair of NCTE"s Board of Advisors. "Our goal in developing this manual was to share practical ideas for working with crime victims, family members, law enforcement, and the media so local organizers responding to hate crimes have the information they need at their finger tips."

A wide range of community leaders and professionals contributed to "Responding to Hate Crimes: A Community Resource Manual", including people with expertise in anti-violence work, law enforcement, mental health, media relations and community organizing.

To download a free copy of "Responding to Hate Crime: A Community Resource Manual," please click here.

More Light on Intersex
More Light Presbyterians

Intersex is a medical condition of birth where the individual is born with mixed or indeterminate biological sex. It has traditionally been called hermaphroditism or pseudohermaphroditism and may occur in approximately two in every 100 births.

It is likely that you have never heard a minister preach on Matthew 19:11a-12:

Jesus said unto them...For there are some Eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb; and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. [emphasis added.]

For people in the church who are born with conditions that make their genetic or anatomical sex unclear, these words of jesus are filled with grace. Intersex is defined as a condition of birth where the individual is born with mixed or indeterminate biological sex. Few people have heard of it, and yet it is more prevalent than Muscular Dystophy. There are dozens of specific medical reasons why babies are born without clarity about their anatomical sex, and there are numerous different ways that this lack of clarity manifests itself.

The lack of church attention to the words of Jesus recorded in Matthew 19 reflect the church's intense ambivalence about sex and gender. Eunuchs are described in both the Hebrew and Greek Testaements. Early in history they were men who had been emasculated either as the result of conquest, or to create slaves who could safely guard the ruler's harem. Later the term eunuch became associated with those entrusted with the royal household and treasure. While some of these people may not have been physically marked like their forebears, they continued to carry the stigma of being sexually marginalized. Jewish law, with its emphasis on purity and freedom from blemish, forbade access to the holy places to the clearly 'imperfect' eunuchs. In Matthew, Jesus not only recognized the presence of infants born with unclear genitalia, he claimed them for the kingdom of heaven. Clearly the church has a responsibility to recognize and welcome such as these!

Causes of Intersex Condition

There are many causes of intersex conditions in infants. They can be roughly divided into prenatal (before birth) and postnatal (following birth). Perhaps the most frequent and disturbing of postnatal are circumcision accidents that result in the permanent loss of an infant boys penis.

Prenatal causes of intersex conditions include many genetic and chromosomal conditions. The results of these conditions range from individuals who have both male and female gonads to individuals who appear to have normal sexual development until later in life when it is discovered that they are gonadally and chromosomally opposite to their apparent sex. Some of the medical terms associated with prenatal intersex conditions include

• Hypospadias
• Chromosomal mosaicism
• Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) or testicular feminization.
• Klinefelter Syndrome
• Turner Syndrome
• Winged labia
• And many others

Whatever the cause, at some point in life the discovery of intersex condition can be very disturbing. It is clear that all faith communities bear a responsibility to care for these individuals and their families.

Ministries with Families and Infants

The tendency of hospitals and physicians has been to treat the birth on an intersex infant as a medical and social emergency. This creates an atmosphere that is not conducive to caring and informed decision making on the part of the family, and tends to place primary decision-making responsibility on medical professionals. Unnecesary, unwanted, and sexually damaging surgery may result.

There are several important things that pastors and congregations can do to help:

• Prepare by educating their communities ahead of time about prenatal sexual development. The pastor can easily use Matthew 19 as the basis of a sermon addressing these issues. Most communities have individuals capable of providing a class or lecture on prenatal sexual development and intersex.
• Providing education for pastors and other caring members on issues faced by families when an intersex birth occurs.
• Making educational material and other resources on intersex available to members and the larger community.
• Creating an atmosphere of openness and acceptance to a wide diversity of gender expressions in their communities. This will help discourage fear-based decisions and premature surgery.

Ministry with Adults Whose Lives are Impacted by Intersex Condition

Pastors and congregations should become aware of the potential presence of this silent/hidden group within their churches, and provide resources and care where appropriate. Sexuality is a major issue for adults with intersex conditions, and personal relationships are fraught with fear and shame. While some intersex folks identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual, others describe themselves as asexual, eschewing sexual relationships altogether. Occasionally intersex adults become dissatisfied with the gender of their rearing and elect to transition to the opposite gender. These people may or may not want to describe themselves as transgender.

Understanding Sexual Differentiation

American Academy of Pediatrics

Intersex conditions arise because of an abnormality along the male pathway that interferes with complete masculinization or, in the case of a genetic female, some virilizing influence that acts on the developing embryo. Before about 6 weeks' gestation, male and female embryos develop undifferentiated gonadal tissue and have primordial structures with the potential to produce either male or female genitalia. The genital apperance of the newborn is largely determined by the presence or abscence of genetic and hormonal influences responsible for the active process of male differentiation. The fetus tends to develop as female in the abscence of these male influences.

The SRY gene on the short arm of the Y chromosome initiates male sexual differentiation. In the absence of SRY, female sexual differentiation occurs. Under the influence of SRY, the undifferentiated gonad forms a testis, which produces the hormonal milieu that results in male sexual differentiation: testosterone stimulates the solffian structures (epididymis, vas deferens, and seminal vesicles), and anti-Mullerian hormone suppresses the development of Mullerian structures (fallopian tubes, uterus, and upper vagina). The conversion of testosterone to dihydrotestosterone occurs in the skin of the external genitalia and masculinizes the external genital structures. Most of this male differentiation takes place by about 12 weeks, after which the penis grows and the testes descend into the scrotum. An error in genital formation may occur at any step in this developmental pathway.

Resources

• Intersex Society of North America (ISNA). www.isna.org
• Bodies Like Ours. www.bodieslikeours.org
• Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome Support Group (AISSG). www.medhelp.org/www/ais
• Fausto-Sterling, Anne. Myths of Gender: Biological Theories About Women and Men.
  buy it now
• More Light Liaison for Intersex Concerns (open) Contact Erin Swenson, _erin@erinswen.com_

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Find more information on Intersex conditions, visit the: Temenos Intersex Page

Find more information on LGBTI Faith Communities, visit the: Temenos Faith Communities Page

To Be Poor and Transgender
By Kai Wright

Sharmus has been a sex worker for about five years. She started after breaking up with a boyfriend who was supporting her while she was out of work. It was quick money, and, as with many of her transgender friends, she didn't believe there were many other jobs out there for her.

"You have your good nights, and your bad nights," says Sharmus, thirty-five. "There are no fringe benefits. Summer time is the best time; the winter is hard," she explains, casually ticking off the pros and cons of being a prostitute. "It's just hard getting a job. Nobody really wants to hire you, and when they do hire you they give you a hard time."

Sex work was not in her plans back when she transitioned from male to female at age twenty-one. "Sometimes I regret it," she sighs. "My lifetime goal was to be a schoolteacher."

Her uncertainty is to be expected. Our culture depicts people whose discomfort with gender norms goes beyond being tomboys or feminine men as mere curiosity items for trash TV ("Your woman is really a man!" episodes of Jerry Springer). This collective ignorance leaves people like Sharmus without much guidance. Many go through puberty and into adulthood without meeting people like themselves. The resulting high rates of depression, drug use, violence, and suicidal thoughts are unsurprising.

"One of the greatest agonies one can experience is gender dysphoria," says transgender activist Jessica Xavier. "When your anatomy doesn't match who you are inside, it's the worst feeling in the world."

Sharmus and Xavier are part of a group whose existence challenges normative gender. They include drag performers, heterosexual cross-dressers, and people from all walks of life who live permanently in a gender other than that assigned at birth. They range from individuals who have had thousands of dollars worth of reconstructive surgery to people who simply style themselves in a way that feels comfortable.

Around the nation, a growing cadre of activists is working to build bridges between all of these populations and to encourage the formation of an umbrella community called "transgender." What the members of this latest American identity group share is a far more practical understanding of gender politics than that of the ethereal, academic world to which it is often relegated. From employment to health services, transgender folks, particularly those in low-income environments, face enormous barriers when navigating even the most basic aspects of life-all because of their gender transgressions.

"We continue to be one of the most stigmatized populations on the planet," says Xavier, the former director of a national coalition of transgender political groups called It's Time! -America. Xavier recently cajoled the local health department into financing a survey of around 250 transgender people in D.C. Forty percent of respondents had not finished high school, and another 40 percent were unemployed. Almost half had no health insurance and reported not seeing a physician regularly. A quarter reported being HIV-positive, and another 35 percent reported having seriously considered suicide.

Xavier's was the latest in a series of such studies done in cities where relatively emboldened trans activists have pushed local officials to begin considering public policy solutions to their health care concerns. Across the board, they have found largely the same thing: higher rates of just about every indicator of social and economic distress. "And all because of the stigma," Xavier concludes.

One problem that stands out, Xavier and others say, is the need for accessible counseling and medical supervision for those who are in the process of gender transitioning. Most medical professionals require certain steps, outlined in a set of protocols dubbed the "Benjamin Standards of Care." First, a therapist must diagnose you with "Gender Identity Disorder," which the American Psychiatric Association established in 1979. In adults, the diagnosis essentially confirms that your "gender dysphoria" is profound enough that the drastic step of making physiological alterations to God's plan is an acceptable treatment.

The diagnosis clears you for reconstructive surgery and hormone therapy. Hormone use for gender transitioning is strictly off-label, but select doctors will nevertheless prescribe a particular hormone and simply file paperwork for one of its approved usages. While there is disagreement within the trans community about how this process should be altered, most unite around frustration with the gatekeeping nature of it all-the notion that one must first ask permission, then be declared insane, before being allowed to violate our gender rules.

For Angela (a pseudonym), this means choosing between the career she's spent 10 years building and her recent decision to live as a male. Angela, twenty-eight, gained a security clearance while serving in the Marines. Despite having climbed to officer rank, she fled the forces when it became clear they were going to throw her out for being a lesbian.

As a civilian, her clearance allowed her to land a well-paying job at an aerospace engineering firm. The position has afforded her and her partner of four years a comfortable life, and even occasionally helps support her partner's budding acting career. But all of that will be jeopardized once a gender-identity-disorder diagnosis is placed on Angela's medical records. Technically, it's a mental health problem, and that will likely prompt the revocation of her clearance when it next comes up for review. So Angela and her partner are again searching for new ways she can use her skills.

Middle class professionals like Angela have options. The barriers to a legal and safe gender transition are surmountable, if profound. But for people like Sharmus, the whole discussion is absurd.

Sharmus has never had "body work" done, but she's taken some hormones in the past. In her world, spending thousands of dollars on therapy, surgery, and hormone treatments is impossible, but a hyper-feminine appearance is still highly valued-not only for personal aesthetics, but also for professional development. So a thriving black market has developed. In D.C., for $200 to $300, you can have silicone injected into your chest to create breasts. Thirty bucks will get you around 100 hormone pills, though injections are usually cheaper.

"When I was taking the hormone shots, my girlfriend was shooting me," Sharmus explains. "You get a knot in the breasts first, then your skin gets soft. After about two months my breasts started forming."

With hormones, often someone who has taken them before supplies and mentors a curious friend. Similar arrangements develop with silicone, but just as often there's a dealer in town who also injects clients. The silicone is not encased, as it would be with an implant, but rather injected with large syringes directly into varying body parts. In some cases, the materials injected are not even silicone, but substitutes made from more readily available things such as dishwashing liquid or floor wax. Similarly, some men wanting estrogen will simply take birth-control pills. Testosterone is harder to improvise, but even the real thing can irreparably damage internal organs when taken improperly. All of this can result in fatalities.

"I have known several people that passed," Sharmus sighs. She steers clear of silicone and stopped taking unsupervised hormones. A couple of years ago, she started working with an organization called Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive, or HIPS. She conducts outreach for HIPS, offering information on how to protect against HIV and other sexually transmitted disease, and encouraging colleagues to leave the silicone alone.

Omar Reyes, whose drag persona is former Miss Gay America, works for La Clinica del Pueblo, a D.C. clinic serving the city's ballooning Latino community. Reyes uses his male birth name and male pronouns but considers himself transgender because of his drag work and his discomfort with male gender "norms." In his monthly transgender support group and in conversations with other dragas he meets at his weekly show, Reyes harps on the malas noticias about silicone. But he recognizes why it's attractive: It's cheap, and it's fast.

"They put silicone in their face and their bodies and, in just a very short period, they can look like a woman," he says. This is particularly important for drag performers and sex workers, whose income may depend on how exaggeratedly feminine they look. "We have to deal with the fact that they want to look like a woman, and this is the short-term way to do it."

Reyes and Xavier want to see someone in D.C. start a low-cost clinic devoted to counseling and treatment for people who are transitioning. Gay health centers in Boston, Los Angeles, New York City, San Francisco, and Seattle all have such clinics already and are developing their own sets of protocols for how the process should work. Earlier this year, San Francisco became the first jurisdiction in the United States to include sex reassignment surgery and related treatments in its health plan for civil servants. This is the kind of thing Xavier says we need to see more of.

But even if the services were there, getting people into them would take work. Most transgender people tell horrifying stories of the treatment they have experienced in health care settings. In one of the most high-profile cases nationally, a trans woman named Tyra Hunter died in 1995 when D.C. paramedics refused to treat her wounds from a car accident. After removing her clothes at the scene of the accident and discovering her male genitals, a paramedic allegedly ceased treating Hunter and began shouting taunts. She died at the hospital later. Following a lengthy court battle, Hunter's family won a suit against the city.

There are many less prominent examples. From the hospital nurse who gawks when helping a trans woman into her dressing gown to the gynecologist who responds with disbelief when a trans man comes in for a check up, the small indignities act as perhaps the greatest barriers to health care.

"They feel like when you go for services, people are going to give attitude," Reyes says. "Therefore, you find that they don't even think about going for help when they really need it."

Tanika Walker, who goes by Lucky, is your standard eighteen-year-old hard ass: short-sighted, stubborn-headed, determined to be the toughest guy in the room. Born and raised in rough-and-tumble southeast Washington, D.C., Lucky sports a mop of dreadlocks, light mustache, tattoos, and brands-including the name of a deceased sibling spelled out in cigarette burns. These all send one message: I'm the wrong dude to mess with.

Like Angela, Lucky is in the process of transitioning genders to become a young man. It's an emotional journey she began when she was fourteen years old. Along the way, she's been yanked out of school and tossed out of her home. She's also been involved in a lot of disastrous relationships marred by violence, often her own.

"I know that I'm homosexual, that I'm a lesbian," Lucky says, groping to explain her feelings. "But at the same time, it's like, I look so much like a boy. I act so much like a boy. I want to be a boy."

So far, however, Lucky's transition is primarily stylistic. She still uses her birth name and answers to female pronouns, but she describes her gender as "not anything." She uses only the men's bathroom because she's had too many fights with women who thought she was a Peeping Tom in the ladies' room. And she'd much rather her friends call her "dawg" than "girlfriend." Among African American lesbians, Lucky fits into a category of women often dubbed "doms," short for dominant.

"I never had chests," Lucky brags. "Never. Around the time you're supposed to start getting chests, I didn't get any. So I was like, am I made to be like this? ... I was the little girl all of the other little girls couldn't play with 'cause I was too boyish."

The dyke jokes started early, sometime in middle school. She settled on a violent response to the taunting just as early. Her fighting became routine enough that by sophomore year the school suggested counseling for her "identity crisis." She balked and, instead, came out to her mom, who promptly threw her out of the house. "I was like, how am I having an identity crisis? I know what I am," Lucky remembers. "My mom said I had to go."

Lucky enrolled herself in the Job Corps and by the time she was seventeen had her GED. She came back to D.C., moved in with her godsister, and began dating a thirty-two-year-old woman.

But the relationship quickly turned violent, and the godsister put Lucky out as well. She turned to one of her brothers and started dating someone her own age. But it was a stormy relationship, and Lucky battered her partner. After one of their more brutal fights, the young woman called the police and Lucky wound up in jail for a month for aggravated assault. That was this April. In May, she started dating another young woman, and she believes this relationship will work out. She's also started hanging out at the Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League (SMYAL).

One urgent lesson she's trying to learn is that violence isn't her only option when conflict arises. But she dismisses the severity of her problem. "I would be, like, 'Go away and leave me alone,' " she says, describing how the fights started. "And she would just keep hitting me in the arm or something. But it really didn't affect me; it would just be real irritating. She used to do stupid stuff like that to aggravate me. So I just hit her. And when I hit her, I blacked her eye out or something."

She sums up her life in a gigantic understatement, saying, "It's just some things I've been through that a normal eighteen-year-old female wouldn't have been through."

Twenty-year-old Vassar College senior Kiana Moore is one of the people Lucky has met at SMYAL. She began transitioning at seventeen. She is articulate and engaging, has never been in trouble, and is studying to become a clinical psychologist. As the only transgender person on her campus, she comes out to the entire first-year class every term during one of the school's diversity programs. She spent this summer interning at SMYAL, counseling Lucky and fifteen to twenty other mainly black transgender youth. What these young folks need, she says, are more role models.

"I am here at SMYAL working as an intern, but where else can you go around this country and see a trans intern? Where can you see a trans person who's in college?" Moore asks. "And so you don't really have anyone to connect to or know about. So if they are at high risk [for social problems], that's why. Because there's nothing there for them at all."

Moore has what Xavier calls "passing privilege." She's a beautiful and confident black woman most people would never assume is transgender. That's something usually achieved only by those with significant resources.

And once many trans people have found they can pass-usually middle class whites living in the suburbs-they don't want to ruin it by becoming an activist or a role model.

"You lose something if you help, because then you put yourself in the spotlight. And if you are a pretty, passable female, you don't want to do that," Moore explains. "We don't want to be advocates, because then we're Kiana the transsexual instead of Kiana the new neighbor."

And thus the activists trying to build a transgender community and social movement face much the same battle gay activists confronted for years: Those with the resources to help have too much to lose.

But Moore sees promise in the youth she spent the summer with. "Every time I talk to them I always give them a big hug before, during, and after the session, because that's the only way I can say I'm here and I think you're stronger than me," she says. "They deal with their problems, and they come in here, and they smile, every day. And they take care of each other."

Male Survivors of Incest or other Sexual Assault

It is estimated that 5-10% of reported cases of rape or sexual assault each year involve male victims (Scarce, 1997) . Some rape crisis centers see nearly equal numbers of girls and boys up to age 12. Researchers report one out of six boys will have been assaulted by age 16. Experts believe the number of cases are under-reported because survivors are less likely to report than are female survivors. Any male can be assaulted. Survivors are gay, straight, and bisexual. Most reported perpetuators are male. Several reports stated that the majority of rapes of males are perpetrated by heterosexual males (Isely & Gehrenbeck-Shim 1997, Scarce 1997).

The identification of sexual assaults committed against males is a recent phenomenon. Previous to the feminist efforts of the last 30 years, resulting in much more comprehensive laws and growing public awareness, rape was the only "sex crime" recognized by law. Only males could be charged with rape and females were the only victims recognized by law. Rape meant vaginal intercourse. Now, the term sexual assault includes many more of the behaviors by which people could be hurt. Many, but not all, states use the phrase sexual assault. Many states are beginning to recognize the sexual assault of males as a problem.

Boys tend not to be taught to empathize. We haven't taught boys that they deserve the right to feel safe in their bodies, that the autonomy of their body is sacred, that "no" equals "no" for everyone and that when stated it should be respected. Without teaching little boys to expect these rights for themselves, how can we expect young men to respect these rights for men (or women)? Little boys are not taught how to say"no" to abusive clergy, scout-masters, coaches, uncles, fathers, baby-sitters, and other potential male perpetrators.

Males are only beginning to recognize how many of them have experienced sexual assault. For reasons similar that female survivors, male survivors deny their victimization. Their reasons include 1) a lack of information to define their experience as sexual assault; 2) a sense that they will be disbelieved by people; 3) a fear of reprisal by the perpetuator(s); 4) an unwillingness to think of themselves as survivors of sexual assault and fearing all the potential changes in themselves that might inevitably ensue; and 5) a resentment that the behavior of the perpetuator(s) had or has the power to cause the survivor to expend time, energy, emotional and financial resources-and therefore essentially take control of their life-for an unknown length of time.

Sex or Sexual Assault?

Sexual assault is commonly defined as forced intercourse or sexual contact that occurs without consent as a result of actual or threatened force (Crooks & Baur 1998). Only recently, however, have many states amended their criminal codes to include adult males (meaning sixteen years of age and older) in their definition of rape (Isely & Gehrenbeck-Shim). All sexual assault is an expression of power, hate, and control. To many heterosexuals, an assaultive male is, crudely put, manifesting "homosexual" behavior. The majority of rapes of males are perpetrated by Caucasian, heterosexual men who often commit their crime with one or more cohorts (Scarce 1997) This demonstrates, again how straight culture confuses sex with sexual assault.

Any male who has been assaulted by another male has a disincentive to report the incident because many people assume that any male assaulted by another male is automatically gay. If the survivor is gay and the perpetrator is gay then reporting the sexual assault may involve "coming out" to authorities, which can be unsafe. Living in a homophobic culture which equates the rape of males to homosexual sexual behavior; a male survivor, who is gay or presumed to be gay, may assume that he will be disbelieved and harassed by the police rather than supported.

Some sexual assaults of gay males are committed by perpetrators who self-identify as heterosexual. The motivations of these men to assault gay males is similar to their motivation to assault females-to dominate and express hatred. Some sexual assaults of gay males are committed by other gay males. Estimates of numbers of assaults are impossible to come by with the prevalence of homophobia in the United States. Consent is what separates sex from sexual assault. Consent is not adequately taught to straight, bisexual or gay teens.

Sexual assaults are not sex. When a male sexually assaults another male: 1)neither male becomes a homosexual as a result of the assault; 2) it is not the manifestation of latent homosexual behavior. There are homosexual men who commit assault but the assaults they commit are not homosexual sex acts. When a man punches another man we do not call it "homosexual battery." "If you hit someone over the head with a frying pan, you wouldn't call it cooking." says Mike Lew, author of Victims No Longer: Men Recovering From Incest & Other Sexual Child Abuse.

Males Who Sexually Assault Other Males

Most of the perpetuators of sexual assault committed on male are other males. As stated before, the majority of perpetrators are heterosexual and Caucasian (Scarce 1997). The boy or young man who is a survivor can be confused, angry, blaming himself, hurt, desperate to understand. The hysteria and misinformation rampant about homosexuality makes understanding their assault very difficult for male survivors.

How Sexual Assault Affects You and Others

Some male survivors' confusion about their sexual orientation, can hinder their recovery. While some males assaulted as boys by older males come to realize that while they don't want to replicate the abusive component of their experience, they do want to explore consensual interactions with males. Gaining clarity about one's sexuality is much more difficult for sexual assault survivors.

When you are dealing with survivors who you know, they may "frustrate or anger" you by not wanting to report their assault, call it assault, change behavior that you find problematic or
even destructive, or other things. You may be irritated with the survivors' rate of recovery or unwillingness to do things that you objectively know would be positive for them. Since the root of eating disorders, depression, and addictions is often incest and others sexual assault, our attention can be misdirected by manifestations of these "symptoms."

When you are dealing with perpetrators who you know, they too may "frustrate or anger" you by not wanting to call their behavior assault, change behavior that you find problematic, etc. Their resistance may be maddening. Their alleged act may well contribute to the polarization of their circle of friends. The presumption of innocent until proven guilty can be sorely tested. Additionally, you may know or like them as people, and experience difficulty believing they could "do" this.

You don't have to arbitrate, heal or solve this problem alone. Survivors need support not rescue. You will be helping yourself if you first look at your resistance or denial. Know your own biases and prejudices. And if you can't/won't listen at that particular time because you are busy/stressed, or this brings up discomfort from personal experience; you so not have to at the moment.

How to be a supportive listener for a friend/lover/relative who is a survivor of incest or other sexual assault

Most survivors never tell anyone that they have been assaulted. If someone tells you about their abuse, consider it an honor. You may not feel lucky but you are. Welcome to a very confusing, murky world.

• Believe them-they are telling the truth. Tell them you're sorry and it wasn't their fault.
  
• Really listen, don't jump to solutions. Ask what help they would like.
  
• Do not distract yourself with heroic fantasies to beat up the perpetrator.
  
• Offer to make an appointment with them to see a counselor, clergy, police, etc.
  
• Do not say that you know/understand how they feel. You don't, even if you're a survivor yourself. Your experience was not identical to his/hers.
  
• Suggest counseling in addition to talking to you. Professional counselors are very useful.
  
• There is no limit to how long the healing process takes. Saying things like, "You've got to forget about this." won't help and may harm recovery.
  
• Be aware of school/local support resources and share those.
  
• Sometimes you can't "do" what seems to you very much, but the "little" that you do may be sufficient for survivors now. Don't assume for them what they need.
  
• Give them time and space. If you're talking more than they are, you're probably not helping.
  
• Do not give advice, even if asked for it. Survivors of sexual assault have had their power profoundly taken from them. Making decisions overprotects them and may send a message that you think they're incompetent. Help them problem-solve by offering all possible options. Offer to support whatever decision they make, then do it.
  
• Get support for yourself too-the more you care, the more you are affected. Look inward; pay attention to your own feelings, your needs are valid too.
  
• Don't burden the survivor with your "stuff." Males learn to expect others to "take care of" our emotional needs and want them to explain to us what we are thinking/feeling about their trauma. It isn't wrong for us to have emotional needs. It is wrong for us to add to the survivor's burden.
  
• Respect their need for absolute confidentiality. Not making their secret public may be the only safe thing for them to do as they see it. If you get support for yourself as an affected "significant other," do not tell the details of the abuse to anyone. If a person who you confide in presses you to identify the survivor, do not tell them. If you help make the details of the assault public, you will do the survivor harm.
  
• Check-in with a person before leaping into an intense follow-up discussion. Don't assume that the level of disclosure that you shared previously is acceptable currently or later when you talk to that person. If you want to talk further, recognize that this might not be a good time for him/her to talk.
  
  
• Sometimes a friend/lover/relative will share that they were assaulted by someone. Some survivors never bring it up again. Some refuse to talk further about it. Some even avoid you. This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you. You might be the only person they have confided in and every time they see you they recall their abuse. Don't punish them for your feeling of being used if that is how you feel. Similarly, you may choose approach them at a private time and ask them if they want to talk further. If they don't, that's fine. If they do,that's also fine as long as you both feel comfortable and safe.
  
• When a survivor tells you tell you that they have been abused, you may feel uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. You have the right to state that what they are telling you is too difficult for you to hear. You may help them find someone else who can be there for them.
  
• If anything you hear or feel resonates for you as you hear their story, it does not prove that you are a survivor. If you are a survivor and you are feeling old feelings again, there are (hopefully)caring resources available in you community.
  
• Some people will seek out a stranger to tell their story to. They may feel safer telling their story to someone they won't see again, feeling safer with anonymity this person provides. We all deserve the right to feel safe. ( Protective Behaviors, Inc).
  
• Remember the value you place on a friend who took the time to really listen to you.
  

Possible Reactions of Male and Female Incest or other Sexual Assault Survivors

This list illustrates the multitude of effects that sexual assault survivors experience. This list was created from several lists that compiled responses of many survivors, both male and female. Not all survivors necessarily experience all or even most of these.

• Nightmares
  
• Swallowing and gagging sensitivity (suffocation feelings)
  
• Alienation from the body-poor body management. Manipulating body size to avoid sexual attention.
  
• Fear that everyone is a potential attacker
  
• Eating disorders, drug or alcohol abuse; other addictions; compulsive behaviors
  
• Self-destructiveness; skin carving; self-abuse
  
• Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsessions; Depression (sometimes paralyzing); seemingly baseless crying
  
• Inability to express anger; fear of actual or imagined rage; constant anger
  
• Intense hostility toward entire gender or ethnic group of the perpetuator
  
• Depersonalization; going into shock, shutdown in crisis
  
• A stressful situation is always a crisis; psychic numbing
  
• Physical pain or numbness associated with a particular memory, emotion (for example anger), or situation (for example sex)
  
• Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity
  
• Nervousness about being watched or surprised; feeling watched
  
• Trust issues; inability to trust; trusting indiscriminately
  
• High risk behaviors; inability to take risks
  
• Boundary issues; control power, territorial issues; fear of losing control
  
• Obsessive/compulsive behaviors
  
• Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless, high appreciation of small favors by others
  
• No sense of own power or right to set limits or say no
  
• Pattern of relationships with much older persons (beginning in adolescence)
  
• Blocking out part of childhood (especially ages 1-12), or specific person or place
  
• Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed
  
• Certainty that no one will listen; feeling "marked" ("The Scarlet Letter")
  
• Feeling crazy; feeling different; feeling oneself to be unreal and everybody else to be real, or vice versa; creating fantasy worlds, relationships, or identities
  
• Denial; no awareness at all; repression of memories; pretending
  
• Sexual issues: sex feels "dirty"; aversion to being touched (especially in gynecological exam); strong aversion to or need for) particular sex acts; feeling betrayed by one's body; trouble integrating sexuality and emotionality; compulsively "seductive" or compulsively asexual; must be sexual aggressor, or cannot be; impersonal, "promiscuous" sex with strangers concurrent with inability to have sex in an intimate relationship; sexual acting acting out to meet anger or revenge needs; sexualizing of meaningful relationships. Note: Homosexuality is not an after effect.
  
• Limited tolerance for happiness; reluctance to trust happiness
  

Finding Support

The National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization

New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project

Male Survivor Issues and Resources

Male Survivors Reading List

Bass, E., and Davis, L., The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. Harper & Row, 1988 Written for women, but helpful for men as well

Boyle, Patrick, Scouts Honor: Sexual Abuse in America's Most Trusted Institution. Prima Publishing, 1994

Crooks, R. & Baur, K., Our Sexuality: Seventh Edition. Brooks/Cole Publishing Company, 1997.
Estrada, H., Recovery for male victims of child sexual abuse, Red Rabbit Press, 1994

Hunter, Mic, Abused Boys-The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse. Fawcett Columbine, 1990

Isely, P., & Gehrenbeck-Shim, D., "Sexual Assault of Men in the Community." Journal of Community Psychology. 1997.

King, N., Speaking out the truth: Voices of courage and healing for male survivors. Harpercollins, 1995

Lew, Mike, Victims No Longer-Men Recovering From Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse. Harper Row, 1990

Mendel, Matthew, The Male Survivor: The Impact of Sexual Abuse. Sage Publications, 1995

Morris, A. MacEachron, Males at Risk: The Other Side of Child Sexual Abuse. Sage Publications, 1989

Sanders, Timothy, Male Survivors: 12-Step Recovery Program. Crossing Press, 1991

Scarce, Michael, Male on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame. Insight Books, 1997

Thomas, T. Men Surviving Incest: A Male Survivor Shares the Process of Recovery. Launch Press, 1989

Winding, Terri, ed., The Armless Maiden: And Other tales for Childhood's Survivors. Ton Books, 1995

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Next: Additional Gay Men's Health and Well Being Resources are listed here.